(CBS) Nudism is getting bigger and
bigger in the United States today. And according to market research,
suburban Republicans tend to be the group of nudists who stand out the
most. So, unlike the image that many of you may have, these people are
not irresponsible, wild "hippies." These conservative
clothes-less citizens favor tax reform and enjoy reading "Golf
Magazine." They just do their politicking and reading in the
nude. It's interesting that when there is so much secrecy and
subterfuge in politics, this particular group is for full disclosure.
Why are there approximately 25 percent more nudists today than 10
years ago, and why are so many of them Republicans? Have they become
the political party with nothing to hide, or is this just a reflection
of the sagging economy?
When you think about it, nudity is quite conservative. It certainly
goes along with the concept of "back to basics." Benjamin
Franklin liked to sit naked in front of an open window each day taking
what he called, "air baths." George Washington and Thomas
Jefferson regularly went swimming without clothes. Apparently, they
weren't just anxious to be freed from the chains of tyranny, but from
the seams of their britches as well.
Clothing has traditionally been used to demonstrate status. Kings and
queens wore outfits that cost more than the homes of an entire
village. Nudity is a living statement of egalitarianism, where nobody
shows off their latest designer clothes. So, our Founding Fathers
would agree that nudity is definitely democratic. But why is going
without clothes becoming so popular today? Maybe people are troubled
by the world that the business suit, the military uniform, and the
cocktail dress represent. So they rid themselves of these clothes, and
relax, temporarily forgetting about their responsibilities and
troubles.
Nudism is big business — an estimated $400 million a year. That's an
awful lot of money for a business without pockets. In addition to
resorts, there are clothing-optional cruises, as well as summer camps
for children and adults. So there's no indication that the nudist
industry is going to go bust.
Although it's hard to know the exact statistics, experts believe that
the state with the most nudists and the most naked tourists is
Florida. That's right, the site of so much political wrangling in the
last presidential election is also the home of the greatest
concentration of unclothed voters. Now that we know how important
Florida is politically, and now that there are even more naked voters
there than a few years ago, we're bound to see a lot of campaigning
for their votes. Obviously, the Republicans have an edge right now
with nudist voters, but I think we can expect the Democrats to be
standing right behind them (well, maybe not right behind them).
American politics being what it is, the Democrats will do their best
to narrow the nudist gap. Don't be surprised to see candidates on both
sides adopting "pro-nature" platforms. We'll probably hear
speakers talk about how confining clothing is, and how we all have to
accept each other for who we really are. If it's a close election,
it's possible that at least one desperate candidate will doff his or
her clothes and join in the volleyball game.
Citing national security, Attorney General John Ashcroft will probably
propose that all airline passengers fly in the nude. That will make it
much more difficult to conceal weapons. It may also do wonders for
travelers' morale, reviving the spirit of "the friendly
skies."
And is a clothing-optional Presidential Debate anymore preposterous
than what happened in Florida last time? Going after the naked vote is
completely consistent with American politics. After all, we certainly
have a tradition of politicians getting caught with their pants down.
Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from
"Sesame Street" to "Family Ties" to
"Frasier." He has also read many books, some of them in
hardcover.
